In today’s interconnected workplaces, the ability to work with colleagues you don’t fully trust or don’t naturally warm to is not a rare challenge but a recurring one. Perhaps they’ve side-stepped responsibility, claimed credit for your work, or simply strike the wrong chord. But unless you operate in total isolation, you’ll likely face this at some stage. And there’s no shortcut around it.
Effective collaboration isn’t built on camaraderie alone. It rests on professionalism, mutual goals, and the discipline to adjust how you engage without compromising who you are. The strategies below offer a grounded, people-first framework to navigate these delicate dynamics with composure and integrity.
Begin with Realistic Expectations And a Dose of Self-Awareness
Trust, like porcelain, is fragile and rarely perfect. The first step in any difficult working relationship is recalibrating expectations. Not every colleague is destined to become a trusted confidante and that’s perfectly acceptable. Your remit isn’t to manufacture friendship, but to preserve your standards and maintain a purposeful focus.
Emotional intelligence is your compass here. Recognising what you feel is important; how you act on it, even more so. In moments of frustration or disappointment, anchor yourself to the objective: deliver excellence, regardless of interpersonal hurdles. In doing so, you quietly carve out a reputation for being level-headed, reliable, and unwavering under pressure.
Hold the Mirror Up: Reflect Before You React
It’s natural to focus on the flaws in others, but leadership starts with reflection. Ask yourself: Have I been clear? Have I honoured my commitments? Have I unintentionally contributed to a misalignment?
Often, the source of friction lies not in malice but in miscommunication. A minor disconnect, when left unchecked, can snowball. Adjusting your own behaviour—even subtly can create the space for others to meet you with the same professionalism. As in hospitality, when one team member raises the standard, others follow. That’s how cultures of excellence are seeded.
Draw the Line: Boundaries Create Focus, Not Division
When trust is scarce, boundaries become vital. They’re not barriers they’re guardrails that help everyone stay on course. Define what you need in order to collaborate effectively and communicate those expectations early and respectfully.
Let’s say your colleague frequently hands over work at the eleventh hour. A simple yet firm statement “I won’t be able to take this on with such short notice. Could we align on timelines earlier next time?” protects your bandwidth while signalling a culture of mutual respect. Boundaries sharpen operational precision. They don’t shut doors; they create clarity.
Shift the Lens to Shared Outcomes
It’s easy to fall into the trap of personal grievance. But work is rarely about individual wins. Refocusing on shared objectives reframes the relationship. What’s the common goal? What role do you both play in achieving it?
When you lead with outcomes, not opinions, you transform tension into task orientation. This mindset doesn’t just reduce friction it reinforces your reliability. It shows others you can steer the ship, even when waters are choppy. That’s a trait every future-ready organisation values.
Look for Threads of Common Ground
Even the most strained partnerships often contain hidden threads of connection. It might be a mutual commitment to quality, a shared professional mentor, or a similar client-facing pressure. Unearthing even a sliver of shared experience can defrost an icy dynamic.
No, you don’t need to become mates. But humanising the other person recognising them as more than their flaws can soften the working environment just enough to make progress feel possible.
Call in a Calm Voice of Reason (When Needed)
If repeated efforts yield no shift, it’s wise to involve a neutral party whether your manager or HR. This isn’t about pointing fingers. It’s about recalibrating expectations and restoring balance.
In my time in the hospitality sector, I’ve witnessed this done gracefully: a quiet corridor conversation, a shared cup of coffee with a third party, and suddenly what felt entrenched begins to thaw. Sometimes, a third voice is the harmony that helps others hear more clearly.
Protect Your Reputation It’s Your Career Currency
In any difficult interaction, your conduct becomes your legacy. You may feel tempted to vent, retaliate, or drift into office gossip. Resist. Reputations are forged not in ease but in adversity.
Play the long game. Remain values-led. Opt for maturity over momentary release. Whether you’re leading a small team or managing stakeholders across sectors, your ability to stay composed becomes your calling card. And yes people remember how you made them feel, especially when things were tough.
Final Thought: Let Results Lead the Relationship
You don’t need to trust everyone. You don’t even need to like them. But you do need to deliver and inspire others to do the same.
Lead with clarity. Stick to your boundaries. Focus on the outcome, not the emotion. In a world where you can’t always control who you work with, you can always control how you show up.
As I often say to teams: trust may follow results, but respect begins with consistency. That’s the foundation of every high-functioning workplaceand every leader worth remembering.
